Do You Need a Sex Coach? Maybe, Maybe Not

How A Sex Coach Can Help With the Most Intimate Part of Your Life

21 April 21st 2017

When you have a legal matter, you seek the advice and help of a lawyer. If you’ve been experiencing chest pains, you go see your doctor. When you want to determine how well your business is doing, you hire a financial advisor or an accountant. But when your problem is premature ejaculation, painful intercourse, or decreased sexual desire, whom do you go to? Your doctor, your pastor or a psychologist? Or do you go to the man-made oracle that is Google, with the hope that her advice, combined with your ability to follow instructions, solves your problem?

To be sure, all of the above are options, but are they viable options? Your doctor, the seemingly most logical choice, understands human anatomy, well enough to diagnose you may be having an issue, but she cannot help if there is no physical cause. Generally, doctors not specially trained in sexuality and they may be just as embarrassed or uncomfortable, as you are about the topic. Worst case scenario, they can intimidate, alarm, or actually misinform you about sex.

A psychologist may be able to assess some your mental and emotional issues associated with sex, based on exploring your past, and processing deep emotions, but they lack the specialised training to be knowledgeable and understanding about all the facets and nuances of sexuality, and how this can play out in real life.

And your pastor, though he might be the closet thing to a confidante, possesses, none of the expertise needed to deal with sexual challenges. The advice given is not evidence-based, nor is it usually given in a judgement free context.

So whom should you turn to?

My answer will of course not surprise you: one of the best persons to help to solve sexual challenges, is a sex coach.

There’s no nudity and sexual touching (I know, some of you are disappointed). Sex coaching looks very similar to other forms of clinical work – a practitioner working within the boundaries of professional ethics helping clients with concerns.

I’m sure for many, “sex coaching” is a new term that conjures up images of an athletic coach, blowing whistles and running drills and shouting orders, but in a very erotic context. Not at all true. There’s no nudity and sexual touching (I know, some of you are disappointed). Sex coaching looks very similar to other forms of clinical work – a practitioner working within the boundaries of professional ethics helping clients with concerns. Sex coaching is the marriage of sexology – the scientific study of what people do sexually and how they think and feel about it, and life coaching – a person-centred modality geared toward creating action and results in client’s lives.

Exactly, how can a sex coach help, you may ask?

A sex coach is trained as an expert in human sexual matters and is able to: 1) help you resolve your sexual problems 2) show you how to enhance your sex life 3) help you assess your sexual wellness and health 4) prepare you for a new relationship

Resolving Sexual Problems

All of us experience some level of sexual dissatisfaction or dysfunction during our lifetime. These instances may be few and far between, and may not last long, and as such, do not significantly affect our well being or intimate relationships. Sometimes however, we can experience difficulties that require the intervention of a sex expert.

Sexual problems, over time, can no doubt lead to frustration, arguments, and the breakdown of relationships. A common case that a sex coach will see, is men who suffer from early ejaculation (EE) , also known as premature ejaculation, will also have erectile dysfunction (ED). Sex coaching is able to design an action plan which pays attention to both these concerns, as well as repair the breakdown in the relationship.

In addition to EE and ED, sex coaches can help men, women and couples resolve the most common sexual concerns such as: sexual inhibition, sexual trauma, no or low desire, painful sex, inability to reach orgasm, aversion to touch, uneven desire, body image issues and much more.

Enhance Your Sex Life

For some people, the choice to hire a sex coach has nothing to do with problems, but rather, with the desire to be better lovers, to upgrade their skills as part of personal development and empowerment, or to expand their repertoire of skills to match a high sex drive. For such a client, a sex coach can teach advanced skills that involve the use of sex toys and/or body coaching for discovering new erogenous zones or experiencing multiple orgasms. The coaching sessions for such a client could also include esoteric practices, sensate focus exercises (touch and caress), breathing techniques, and other advanced methods.

Assess Your Sexual Wellness

For the client who doesn’t have a sexual concern, or maybes does not have a specific sexual goal in mind, a sex coach can simply assess their sexual performance skills, or current state of sexual health and well-being. In other words, a coaching sessions may simply focus on evaluating how well you’re doing in various aspects of your sexuality, kind of similar to having a regular check-up with your doctor to make sure that all is well.

Prepare You For A New Relationship

Perhaps you’ve been single for a while since the loss of your spouse (through death or divorce). Maybe your sexual experience is very little or none existent, and you are about to start dating or prepare for marriage. Sex coaching is a great way to receive the grooming and guidance needed to lay the groundwork for a healthy intimate relationship. Clients who fall into this category, will find that sessions focus on personalised sex education, communication and conversation skills, self-awareness exercises, and even fashion and image consulting. Many religious communities will find it helpful to hire a sex coach as part of their pre-marital counselling programmes.

Before I end this article, I need to make a very important distinction between sex coaching and sex therapy. Sex coaching is not therapy, although it is very therapeutic. Sex therapy focuses on exploring the past, processing deep emotions, and spends time exploring the ‘why’ questions of your life – why you feel and behave as you do today. Sex coaching, on the other hand, acknowledges your unique history as a part of the context of your life, but focuses instead on where you want to be, and then helps you design an action plan to get there. In sex coaching, unlike therapy, you the client, set the agenda – your needs and concerns are front and centre. Together, coach and client are a collaborative team. So give it a try. You don’t need to have a sexual problem to hire a sex coach. It may simply be to have a sexual side you want to explore.

The politics of sex affects all of us, YOU included. For an informed opinion on the intersection of society & culture AND sex, subscribe below.

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